Three Weeks: Greece, Italy, The Netherlands, & Germany

In Which a Girl Wanders Across Europe & 
Probably Gets Way Too Existential About It

Hey, all!

     At long last I am returned from my stint of adventuring in Europe and am slowly settling back into life in rural England as I begin to prepare for my examinations next month… Eek! Needless to say, I haven’t been thinking of those overmuch for the past few weeks, as I have been absolutely absorbed in my exploration of the islands of Greece, the major cosmopolitan cities of Italy and the Netherlands, and in cycling around the Rhine Valley in Germany. Admittedly, there were times during my travels that were undoubtedly trying, frustrating, and headache-inducing, but amongst those were also times that made me feel as though I was soaking up some of the absolute best the world had to offer, making me feel so good about life and the choices I'd made that had allowed me to stand there, right where I was, like I belonged and was exactly where I needed to be. And that, I can most definitely say, is a damned good feeling and one I'll admit to occasionally doubting I'd ever get the chance to feel.

     As always seems to be the case after any period of intense wanderlusting, I feel as though I continue to gain a better grasp of the places and people I’m looking for and the sort with which I’d like to someday surround myself, wherever it is I eventually end up. Every time I’m able to sample the wonders of a new place, it’s as if I can see another, alternate version of myself who might someday be able to build an entirely new life there… And some places, just like some people, seem to ‘fit’ better than others depending upon an endless number of factors, most of them unknowable and which really just come down to who I am as a person and how that identity influences the way I perceive the world around me. So of course the immeasurable feeling of delight one experiences at being in a certain place at a certain time is just as unexplainable and exempt from analysis as the factors that dictate love and attachment. However, that circle of selective possibility that I've so often felt constricting now begins to feel as though it's expanding and growing wider as I allow myself to walk about the world, meet new people, and encounter strange things that sometimes require quite a bit of grappling to make any sense of. 

     I don’t think anyone’s capable of figuring out the precise cause of any of the powerful inclinations that so drive us towards particular places or particular people, although we’ve all experienced their influence at one time or another. I know that just over the last month I myself have felt their influence in varying degrees of intensity depending on whose company I shared and where I happened to be at the time. So quickly do they work that for me, images of Greece now largely inspire a remembrance of fond friendship and camaraderie that somehow grew and drew me closer to people that once were strangers as we navigated through unfamiliar, sometimes dangerous territory. Surprise changes in course, however dramatic, did not cause us nearly as much grief as I expected, and images of beautiful beaches and still more beautiful waters, hills, and vistas envoke a sense of timelessness, good health, and warm humour that endured despite initial worry. Our faith in ourselves and each other kept us sane and in good spirits despite whatever setbacks we occasionally encountered and made each day one part adventure, one part spontaneous, and one part surprise. 
     
     Any mention of Italy now reminds me of that particular feeling of awe I experienced as I wandered about monumental structures and the slightly disconcerting wonder I felt at how small and insignificant my own existence seemed when set alongside the sheer spiritual and historical significance that practically breathed from the very walls and ruins of such places. After walking away from yet another ornately painted ceiling, pagan fountain, veiled marble statue, or the scattered remains of another old place of worship, I fell in love with the Italian... Well, everything. Their unique style of dining that comes in stages and is held in a number of different venues and the immense pleasure they take in the creation of meals and the consumption of good food (always best when enjoyed in conjunction with long conversations and several glasses of wine) prompted my companions and I to walk a bit slower as we went from place to place, to speak a little more thoughtfully, and to enjoy the simple things that always somehow manage to bring people closer together, to create stronger ties, and more deeply felt memories. 


    In Germany, the driven days and leisurely crawl of nights in Italy gave way to ones filled to the brim with activity in the open air as we pedalled our way along the river or through tiny villages erected in the same era as famous composers whose likenesses can be found 'round most every cobblestoned street corner. Each day and night was heavily laced with large doses of quirky humour amongst our group of girls and the most enjoyable degree of silliness ensued as my friends and I laughed at each other's foibles after getting hopelessly lost and finding our way again with great effort, only to happen upon a scene so unassumingly beautiful or someone so frank and sincere that it surprised us into lingering longer than we'd originally intended. 

     Naturally, I don’t know what any of these impressions mean or what sort of changes they may or may not precipitate at some unknown point in the future. However, I do know that whatever it is they are or will be, it’s profoundly important that I had the opportunity to experience them. No lasting progress ever came of sticking one’s own head in the ground, so staying in my room counting the number of books I haven’t yet read or bemoaning whatever mistakes I feel I’ve made in the past will do nothing towards getting me to the place, person, or state of mind I’m meant to be, choose, or live by… So I might as well do my utmost to keep moving forward and to not allow myself to fall back into the rut I sometimes feel only a hair’s breadth away from plummeting right back into again. So I'll naturally do my best to surround myself with good people, good energy, and work hard to create an environment that encourages forward movement, giving me room to do what pleases me in a way that allows me to be true to myself and also to get ready to eventually become part of a much wider, more dynamic world.

     Thanks so much for your patience everyone, for now I’m here until next I need another adventure to shake me up.

Lots of love & all that jazz from England,

Torey